Sunday, 21 March 2010


Director: Phil Claydon
Running time: 86 mins (approx)
Certificate (UK): 15

UK Release Date: 20th March 2009

Watched on Sky+ Sunday 21st March 2010.


I quite like the comedy of James Corden, and Mathew Horne is a pretty good comic actor as well. They are really great in the hit UK TV show "Gavin & Stacey". So I thought I’d give this one a go, it’s got a couple of my favourite comic actors in it and there’s a promise of Lesbian Vampires as well… How could anything go wrong? Well, it’s not great news, not bad, but not great. More of that later, let’s tell you a little about the plot first.

Back in the days of the Crusades, the little hamlet of Cragwitch was cursed by the Vampire Queen Camilla. She swore vengeance on the man who killed her, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren. All females of the village, on turning 18 will become Lesbian Vampires until the last in the Baron’s line dies, at which point she will be reborn to wreak havoc on the land.

So, two guys, Fletch and Jimmy, both losers. Fletch lost his job and Jimmy just got dumped by his girlfriend. They can’t afford the foreign holiday they both want and so, drunk, Jimmy suggests they go hiking. Throwing a dart at a map, it lands in the little village of Cragwitch (bet you never saw that one coming). They arrive just as a van full of beautiful young women is leaving from the local inn. They enter the inn and find out that the girls are staying at a local cottage, somewhere all visitors to the village are allowed to stay for free. The boys set off and meet the girls on the road where their van had mysteriously broken down. It turns out they are doing field research into the legend of the Vampire Queen Camilla. Arriving at the cottage, one by one the girls start to disappear, leaving only Lotte and the boys to fight. OK, that’s the set-up, throw in a crazy vicar and I’ll leave you to figure out what happens next. Oh, and by the way (bit of a spoiler here) one of the boys is the last descendant of the Baron (bet you didn’t expect that either).

Now, I know it’s a comedy, but I don’t particularly find a bunch of people running around spooky woods at night particularly funny. Maybe in an Abbott & Costello movie, but I thought we’d moved on from those days. I will admit that quite a few of the one-liners from Fletch made me laugh, and I did find the performances of both James Corden as Fletch and Mathew Horne as Jimmy were pretty good, not that they had to stretch themselves much. Honourable mentions go to MyAnna Buring as Lotte and Paul McGann as the Vicar.

Over all it’s a bit of a cross between a Hammer Horror and a typical British Comedy that unfortunately didn’t quite hit the mark. James Cordon and Matthew Horne were definitely the high points in this rather mediocre effort. Not great, but it has a few laughs, not very highly recommended.

My score: 5.2/10

IMDb Site:
*Official Site:

*NOTE: I’ve put the Australian official site up here since the UK one isn’t working at present.

No comments: