Director: Jimmy Hayward
Running time: 81 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15
UK Release date: 3rd September 2010
Watched on Sky+ Saturday 27th August 2011.
PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.
I was quite excited when I first heard about this film, the premise looked really great. It’s funny how a great looking idea can be turned into something really terrible though. I know I occasionally have to look at a bad film if just to remind me how good the great ones are, but this was truly awful. I will tell you more after this brief summary.
Jonah Hex is a survivor of the American Civil War, brutally scarred by Quentin Turnbull, the man who murdered his wife and son as he looked on helpless. After this, Hex was taken in by the Crow Indians who healed him, well almost, he found he could speak to the dead. He left and became a bounty hunter, until the day he gets word from the government that Turnbull is alive. It’s now all about revenge for Hex, who is out for blood and nobody is going to stop him. I’ll leave it there, there is more but the Spoiler Police will have me fired from a cannon if I say anything else.
As I said at the beginning, the premise of this film was quite appealing, the execution, however, was quite appalling. As far as the performances go, well, everyone was professional but the material they had to work with was woeful. So, honourable mentions go to; Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex, John Malkovich, who I can’t believe took the part of Quentin Turnbull, Megan Fox, who played, well, Megan Fox as Lilah and finally, Michael Fassbender as Burke. If I was any of these performers I would be having very serious words with my agent.
It has the distinction of attaining the lowest score of any film I’ve watched so far this year (162 at this point in time). The dialogue was turgid and didn’t really go anywhere and most of the action happens at night so it’s very hard to follow. On the plus side (rare, I know, for this one), I thought the make up effect for Hex’s scar was very well done. I do try to watch all films with an open mind, but this was just awful… NOT recommended.
My Score: 3.2/10.
IMDb Score: 4.6/10 (based on 17,723 votes at the time of going to press).
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 12/100 (based on 142 reviews counted at the time of going to press).
Jonah Hex: Keep him fed and watered. Don’t you tie him up. If I don’t come back for a spell, he’ll know it. He’ll head out on his own way.
Boy: He got a name?
Jonah Hex: Yeah. Horse.
[to the dog]
Jonah Hex: You. Yeah, I... I don’t what to say to you.
Official Site: http://jonah-hex.warnerbros.com/dvd/