Film Review: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES (2011)

Director: Rob Marshall
Writers (Screenplay): Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio
Running time: 132 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 12

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy
UK Release date: 18^th May 2011

Watched on Sky+ Sunday 29^th January 2012.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

Having seen all the previous films in the series and despite being woefully disappointed by the third instalment, I decided to give this one a go anyway. The critics tell me it’s better than “At Worlds End” and I am prepared (on this occasion) to believe them. Fortunately (for them), they were indeed correct and while not as good as the first two, it is an improvement. I will give you more of my thoughts after this brief summary.

This time Jack Sparrow is on the trail of the Fountain of Youth. Teaming up with an old flame, Angelica, who turns out to be the daughter of the notorious pirate Blackbeard, Jack finds himself aboard Blackbeard’s ship and on route to the island where the Fountain can be found. Also on their trail there is Barbossa who, having lost his leg to Blackbeard is out for revenge. Throw in the might of the Spanish fleet and there’s more than enough competition for the prize. Certain items have to be collected before the Fountain can be used, not least of which is the tear of a mermaid and this proves very difficult to obtain. I don’t want to say too much, but needless to say a perilous journey is about to culminate in the mother of all showdowns! I had better not say any more of the Spoiler Police (Pirates Division) will have me clapped in irons and keel-hauled.

Very well made with some excellent CGI and stunt work; these are the hallmarks of these films. Performance wise; Johnny Depp did his usual comic turn as Jack Sparrow, Penélope Cruz did a decent job as Angelica Teach, Geoffrey Rush was good (as ever) as Barbossa and Ian McShane I felt did a decent job as Blackbeard. Honourable mentions must also go to; Kevin McNally as Joshamee Gibbs, Sam Claflin as Philip, Astrid Bergès-Frisbey as Syrina, Stephen Graham as Scrum, Keith Richards as Captain Teague and Richard Griffiths as King George.

Although I did find it entertaining to a point, I did feel it got a little tedious and predictable towards the end. The trouble is, with three previous films, we have seen it all before and it does all get a little repetitive. I also felt it was way too long! I guess the films are still making large amounts of cash for the Disney machine and so they will continue to make them (sadly). I think, if you haven’t seen a ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ film before then I can recommend it to you; if you have, then be prepared for more of the same.

My score: 6.3/10

IMDb Score: 6.6/10 (based on 111,001 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1298650/

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 33/100 (based on 245 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 61/100 (based on 145,528 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/pirates_of_the_caribbean_on_stranger_tides/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
[Standing on a cliff edge]
Jack Sparrow: You know that feeling you get when you're standing in a high place... sudden urge to jump?... I don't have it.

Blackbeard: [points the gun at Jack's head] I need those chalices.
Jack Sparrow: Shoot. Save me the bother of the fall.
Blackbeard: You will go and you will return. Or I will kill her.
[points the gun at Angelica]
Jack Sparrow: [surprised] You won't kill your own daughter.
Blackbeard: [hands the gun to the zombie quartermaster] Quartermaster, give me six more pistols, remove the shot from all but two and do not tell me which two.
[walks to where the six pistols are at]
Blackbeard: You get to choose, Mr.Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: The fountain of youth, what does it require?
Angelica: A Mermaid, Jack.

Blackbeard: Bring the mermaid!
Philip: You're killing her.
Blackbeard: I'm a bad man.

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Official Site: http://www.disney.co.uk/pirates-of-the-caribbean/index.jsp
Trailer:

Film Review: 44 INCH CHEST (2009)

Director: Malcolm Venville
Writers: Louis Mellis, David Scinto
Running time: 95 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 18

Genre: Drama/Crime
UK Release date: 15^th January 2010

Watched on Sky+ Saturday 28^th January 2012.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

This is one of those films I have wanted to see for some time now. From the writers of ‘Sexy Beast’ (a film I very much enjoyed) I was really looking forward to more of the same. I can see where they were going with it, but it didn’t quite have the same impact as their previous effort. I think the idea was solid enough, but what they did with it really didn’t quite work out (for me). I will tell you more after this brief summary.

When Colin Diamond’s wife, Liz, tells him she’s leaving him for another, he is devastated. He gets her to give him the name of the other man and he, and some friends, take him to a room for a talk. It is here where the majority of the action takes place. Even before the man is brought out of the cupboard they have him stashed in we have some quite explicit dialogue and flashbacks of what had transpired in the previous 24 hours. Colin’s ‘colleagues’, Meredith, Old Man Peanut, Archie and Mal have already softened ‘Loverboy’ up for him, but now it’s up to him to decide what’s to be done. Asking the others to leave the room, he talks through the various options open to him. I will leave it there or the Spoiler Police will be looking into the disappearance of that waiter a few months back.

A very well made film with some very colourful characters and some great dialogue, but it does have the look and feel of a stage play. I guess this is because the majority of the action takes place in one room. One thing I cannot fault is the performances; everyone was superb! And so special mentions go to; Ray Winstone as Colin Diamond, Ian McShane as Meredith, John Hurt as Old Man Peanut, Tom Wilkinson as Archie and Stephen Dillane as Mal.

There is an awful lot of dialogue in this film and much of it contains extreme swearing, but much of it I found was quite philosophical. I think the trouble is, there’s far too much of it and, at times, it doesn’t help the story move along very smoothly. I found the ‘hallucination’ scenes very confusing and they got more bizarre the longer they went on! It ended up being quite a strange film in the end that left me kind of flat. I can’t really recommend it for that reason, but if anyone out there feels like giving it a look I’d be interested to hear what you made of it.

My score: 5.7/10

IMDb Score: 5.8/10 (based on 3,175 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0914837/

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 40/100 (based on 77 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 36/100 (based on 13,005 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/44_inch_chest/#

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
Warning: Strong Language.
Archie: Are you hearing this? What you've done? What you're responsible for? Are you proud of yourself? Was it worth it? All this pain.
Mal: Fucked his wife. Fucked his fucking wife. You fucking wife-fucker, you. You fucked his fucking wife, you wife-fucking cunt. Another man's wife. Are you stupid, are you fucking thick, you cunt? Fuck another man's wife? You don't do that. It ends in this. This. This is where it ends. You listening, you hearing me? Shitter? Little shitter?
Archie: You should have got your own fucking wife to fuck!
Mal: You're in deep shit mate. You're in the worst possible place a man could find himself.

Colin Diamond: I want you dead. I think you owe me that. I do. Because that's what you've done to me. You've fucking killed me.

Colin Diamond: I bet she's never farted in front of you, has she? Has she? No- I thought not. I mean, that's not romantic, is it? You just want the perfume clouds, the romance, the magicalness of it all- the false crap. Well, I've got news for you, Sonny Jim- that's not love. Love's hard work, hard graft. Love can be murder. Love is watching what she wants to watch on the telly, taking her the papers and a cup of tea on a Sunday morning in bed and inquiring to how she might be feeling, "You all right, Liz?" whilst plumping up her pillows. And she might get irritated by that, but you gotta take it on the chin and broad shoulders, because she's the queen, and you're the bee- the Dad. And so what if you cook the dinner and you get no thanks for it? Don't do it if you expect thanks. That's not why you do it. And yes, you forgot the dripping tap for ten years, and then one day- for whatever reason, fuck knows why- you get off your fat ass and you find yourself under the sink with a spanner in your hand and you're smiling like fuck- because you know it's gonna please her. And if she don't notice it, she don't notice it- it don't matter. It's fixed. It's plumbed. It's the maintenance of a marriage, the nuts and bolts, the nitty gritty, the reality- that's life, that's love, it ain't easy- nobody ever said it was gonna be easy. It's fucking hard work. But, you know, love can be... lovely. One day, you'll be in the bathroom, having a shave in front of the mirror, all soap on your face, and you feel her approaching you. She's hung a pair of tights, hanging on the radiator. And as she leaves, she pats you on the bum and gives you a tiny smile- almost not a smile- but a smile nevertheless. And it will mean the world to you- the whole. incredible world- the fucking universe.

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Official Site: http://www.44inchchestfilm.com/
Trailer:

Film Review: SEXY BEAST (2000)

Director: Jonathan Glazer
Running time: 89 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 18

Genre: Drama/Crime
UK Release date: 12th January 2001

Watched on Sky+ Friday 29th April 2011.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

Whenever I’m in a conversation about British gangster movies, this one always comes up. Much to my dismay, I haven’t been able comment because, for one reason or another, I kept missing it. This was remedied recently when it finally re-appeared on TV. It’s an interesting film that’s marked by one particularly extraordinary performance and an awful lot of profanity (swearing).

Gary 'Gal' Dove is a retired gangster, he lives in Spain with his wife, Dee Dee. His friend, and ex-colleague, Aitch and wife Jackie live nearby and they barbecue, hunt, eat, drink and generally lie in the sun and have a good time. This is until the day Jackie receives a phone call from Don Logan. Don is a nasty piece of work who has decided he wants Gal to come out of retirement to do one more job. The thing is, Gal is happy with his life and doesn’t want to go back, but Don is on his way to persuade him. Also, an ulterior motive is revealed for Don’s visit that leaves all involved feeling quite uneasy. Now, the heist is being planned by crime boss Teddy Bass and it involves the robbery of a depositary owned by a character known as Harry, but can Gal be persuaded.

There is a really good cast in this one; Ray Winstone plays Gal very well, he has all the attributes to pull off this role with aplomb. Amanda Redman plays Dee Dee, his wife, Cavan Kendall is Aitch and Julianne White is Jackie. Teddy Bass is played by another well known British actor, Ian McShane, as is Harry, who is played by James Fox. But the star accolade must go to Ben Kingsley as Don Logan, I don’t know what he was on, but he pulls of a masterly performance in this one. It’s so different to everything else I’ve seen him in and I loved every minute he was on screen.

I really enjoyed this film, admittedly, the performance of Ben Kingsley has a lot to do with that, but there were also a few rather innovative touches that made the story a bit more interesting that it might have been. So, over all, it’s a pretty well made film with a decent cast, an interesting plot, one stellar performance and an awful lot of swearing… Recommended.

My Score: 7.5/10

LINKS:
(RT = Rotten Tomatoes)
IMDb Page: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0203119/
RT Page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/sexy_beast/
Trailer:

Film Review: CASE 39 (2009)

Director: Christian Alvart
Running time: 109 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

Genre: Horror/Mystery/Thriller
UK release date 5th March 2010

Watched on Sky+ Sunday 20th February 2011.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I remember when this one came out I didn’t know much about it, but I had a feeling it was going to be an interesting film. Well, since then I had heard a few more bits and pieces, but not too much. So primed with a little knowledge and a glass of red wine I settled down to the scariest film I’ve seen this year (OK, it’s only February & it is only the 36th film I’ve seen this year). I will give you my thoughts after a very brief summary (summary haters and those who don’t wish to know anything about the plot please help Emily with those big bolts for the inside of her door while I write the next paragraph).

Emily Jenkins is a social worker who specialises in cases of child abuse, she lives alone, but has a boyfriend (of sorts), Doug, a psychologist. She’s already overworked when her boss, Wayne, gives her her 39th case file. It concerns a young girl, Lilith Sullivan, whose grades are dropping at school and she keeps falling asleep in class. Emily visits the family and the parents’ behaviour gives her cause for concern but there is no evidence of abuse. She tries to get a friend of hers, Mike Barron, a cop to look into the case, but again, there is no evidence. Having struck up a friendship with Lilith, Emily is more determined to get her away from her parents. She receives a phone call from Lilith late one night and, concerned, she gets Mike to meet her at the Sullivan house. There they find the parents attempting to kill Lilith (I won’t say how) and they are arrested after a struggle. Emily now applies for, and gets, custody of Lilith. At first things go well, but then… Well, that’s where I’ll leave it, but I will say it’s about to get very interesting to Emily.

I guess the plot is not entirely original, but the film is very well made with a decent cast to keep the audience interested. Now I’ll admit I’m not a huge fan of horror films and so I don’t watch many of them, but did like this one. The main reason being the performance of Jodelle Ferland as Lilith Sullivan, she was truly creepy when required and it really added to my enjoyment of the piece. It was nice to see Renée Zellweger in a genre I never thought I see her in as Emily Jenkins and Ian McShane put in a decent shift as Det. Mike Barron. I guess I should also give an honourable mention to Bradley Cooper as Doug, although he wasn’t really stretched.

I quite enjoyed this film; it made a nice change to see a horror film that was actually a bit creepy for a change. It’s not perfect, there’s quite a slow pace that’s used to build the tension and the final scenes are slightly predictable. Having said that, I think it’s worth a watch, it’s certainly better than some of the scores I’ve seen it given around the internet (you know who you are Rotten Tomatoes).

My score: 6.1/10

LINKS:
(RT = Rotten Tomatoes)
IMDb Page: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0795351/
RT Page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/case_39/
Official Site: http://www.case39movie.com/mainsite/
Trailer: http://uk.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi4192142873/