Film Review: BLITZ (2011)

Director: Elliott Lester
Writers: Nathan Parker (screenplay), Ken Bruen (novel)
Running time: 93 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 18

Genre: Action/Crime/Thriller
UK Release date: 20^th May 2011

Watched on DVD Saturday 2^nd March 2013.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE UNINTENTIONAL SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

On the face of it this film has a couple things in its favour; a decent cast (ok, some people I’ve heard of at least) and the screenwriter who worked on Duncan Jones’s excellent debut, ‘Moon’. Sadly, as we’re all aware, a decent cast and a screenwriter whose work has been admired in the past is not necessarily a recipe for a good watch. I reckon you can guess which way this one’s headed, but here’s a brief summary first before I get into it.

Brant (Jason Statham) is an uncompromising Detective Sergeant working for the Metropolitan Police (that’s London). When a cop killer begins his murderous rampage it’s Brant who the brass turns to for help. He is partnered up with Nash (Paddy Considine), a gay cop who Brant considers a good policeman. The focus of their attention soon falls on Weiss (Aidan Gillen); a known violent offender who Brant has had a run-in with before. He’s borderline psychotic but somehow manages to stay one step ahead of the police at every turn. He contacts a hack journalist, Dunlop (David Morrissey) and uses him to publicise his hatred of the police. Add to this a sub-plot involving a young female officer, Falls (Zawe Ashton), who had been working undercover in the narcotics division and came out the other end needing to go into rehab and there you have it. The question is, will Brant and Nash catch up with Weiss before he can get to Falls?... I think you can probably guess.

In this film Jason Statham does what he does best, he looks and acts hard. He doesn’t really have to do anything else… apart from claim to be Irish that is (of course). Of the other performances I thought Paddy Considine did a decent job and Aiden Gillen played the psychotic cop killer pretty well too. To be honest, it’s not a very well made film with a plot that doesn’t really tax the little grey cells too much. I think even ardent fans of Mr Statham won’t be rushing out to add this to their DVD collection.

SteelMonster’s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED (even for fans of ‘The Statham’)

My score: 4.5/10.

IMDb Score: 6.1/10 (based on 36,943 votes when this review was written).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1297919/

MetaScore: No data: (Based on 0 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 46/100 (based on 24 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 39/100 (based on 6,283 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/blitz_2011/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
Detective Sergeant Tom Brant: A word of advice, girls. If you're picking the wrong fight... at least pick the right weapon.

Barry Weiss: I want a lawyer and a sandwich. Oh, and I want to update my Facebook status.

Porter Nash: You're not supposed to smoke in here.
Detective Sergeant Tom Brant: What are you going to do, shoot me?

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Official Site: http://www.blitzmovie.co.uk/
Trailer:

Film Review: LOCK, STOCK & TWO SMOKING BARRELS (1998)

Writer/Director: Guy Ritchie
Running time: 107 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 18

Genre: Crime/Thriller
UK Release date: 28^th August 1998

Watched on Sky+ Sunday 4^th November 2012.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

A film I’ve seen many times before but one I always enjoy re-acquainting myself with. Although it suffers slightly from an over-complicated plot it’s always entertaining and that’s probably why I keep coming back to it. Very violent with some very colourful language, it’s not for the feint-hearted. Without doubt, one of my very favourite Guy Ritchie films and one I hope you’ll enjoy too! Here’s a very brief summary before I tell you just why I think it’s a great film.

Four young lads; Tom, Soap, Eddy and Bacon decide to buy into a high-stakes card game run by Hatchet Harry. They each chip in £25,000 and it’s up to Eddy to represent them in the game. He’s a diva at the cards and they reckon they’re onto a sure thing. Unfortunately for them, not only does Eddy lose, but he ends up in debt to Harry to the tune of half a million. Since they all put in they are all responsible for paying back the money or bad things will happen to them and Eddy’s dad, JD, will lose his bar. They only have a week and this makes them a tad desperate. Fortunately, they overhear Eddy’s neighbours, a bunch of very violent types, planning a robbery. They decide to relieve them of the score and use it to pay back Harry… but there’s more than one twist in this tale. I’ll leave it there or Harry will be sending Big Chris to sort me out.

Shot in very muted tones with an almost sepia look to the picture, it gave the film a gritty edge to it that worked pretty well. A great soundtrack also adds to the atmosphere with some very effective use of popular songs from all over the place. Great performances all round with the four leads; Jason Flemyng as Tom, Dexter Fletcher as Soap, Nick Moran as Eddy and Jason Statham as Bacon all doing particularly well. I also liked the performance of Vinnie Jones as Big Chris, he didn’t have an awful lot to do but he definitely had a presence on the screen. Also worthy of note were; P.H. Moriarty as Hatchet Harry, Steve Sweeney as Plank, Stephen Marcus as Nick the Greek, Vas Blackwood as Rory Breaker, Sting as JD and look out for a brief appearance from Rob Brydon as a rather unfortunate traffic warden.

Mad bad and highly entertaining, I really enjoyed this film. I particularly liked the fact that when things got particularly violent the camera wasn’t pointed directly at the action. We were aware of what was going on but there was no Tarantino-esq splatter-fest. This may well have been for budgetary reasons, but I’d prefer to fill in the blanks myself anyway. The plot does get a little over-complicated in places but is all neatly resolved in the end… just about. Everything from the sharp, witty dialogue to the locations was done with that kind of British style you’d never see in a Hollywood production. It always hits the mark for me!... Well worth a look.

SteelMonster’s verdict: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My score: 8.5/10

IMDb Score: 8.2/10 (based on 223,459 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0120735/

MetaScore: 66/100: (Based on 30 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 76/100 (based on 58 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 92/100 ‘Liked it’ (based on 275,344 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/lock_stock_and_two_smoking_barrels/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE
Eddie: They're armed.
Soap: What was that? Armed? What do you mean armed? Armed with what?
Eddie: Err, bad breath, colourful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!

Big Chris: It's been emotional.

Tom: There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses.

Plank: Ah! They fucking shot me!
Dog: Well, fucking shoot 'em back!

Dean: He's got the guns. Go ahead. You get them.
Gary: Why me?
Dean: You're supposed to be the hard case.
Gary: [shrieks] You get the guns. I drive the car!

Soap: Rory Breaker? That psychotic black dwarf with an Afro?
Tom: That would be the same man, yes.

Nick the Greek: Dunno. Seems expensive.
Tom: Seems? Well, this seems to be a complete waste of my time. That, my friend, is 900 nicker in any store you're lucky enough to find one in. And you're haggling over 200 pound? What school of finance did you come from Nick? "It's a deal, it's a steal, it's the Sale of the fucking Century!" In fact, fuck it Nick, I think I'll keep it!
Nick the Greek: All right all right, keep your Alans on!
[Peels off notes from his wad]
Nick the Greek: Here's a ton.
Tom, Eddie: Jesus Christ!
Eddie: You could choke a dozen donkeys on that! And you're haggling over one hundred pound? What're you doing when you're not buying stereos Nick? Finance revolutions?
Nick the Greek: 100 pound is still 100 pound.
Tom: Not when the price is 200 pound it ain't! And certainly not when you've got Liberia's deficit in your skyrocket. Tighter than a duck's butt you are. Now, lemme feel the fibre of your fabric.

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Trailer:

Film Review: KILLER ELITE (2011)

Director: Gary McKendry
Writers: Matt Sherring (screenplay), Ranulph Fiennes (book/inspiration)
Running time: 111 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

Genre: Action/Crime/Thriller
UK Release date: 23^rd September 2011

Watched on Sky+ Monday 20^th August 2012.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I’m not quite sure how this one ended up on ‘The List’, I guess it must have had a couple of decent reviews, or more likely, I was lured by the prospect of Statham and De Niro on screen together. Either way it got tagged as a ‘possible’ and was duly flagged when it appeared in the TV listings last week. One of those ‘based on a true story’ films that are either excellent or very mediocre. This one falls somewhere in between and I’ll explain just why after this very brief summary.

When contract killer Danny’s mentor and friend Hunter is captured he finds himself forced to carry out a job for his captor, a sheik from Oman. The price; six million dollars and Hunter’s freedom. The job; kill three former SAS soldiers who, it’s claimed, murdered three of the sheik’s sons during a minor war in Oman. Danny puts together a team consisting of himself, Davies and Meier and they set about their task. Little do they know a group of former SAS soldiers have set up a secret protection force to look after their own. Their main enforcer, Spike, soon becomes aware of Danny’s activities and takes measures to stop him. Can Danny rescue his friend or will Spike get to him before his mission is complete? Well, I guess I had better not tell you here or Spike and his boys might be looking for me.

Well made with some great fight sequences and stunt work; I couldn’t see much (if any) CGI in there, so if there was any it was well disguised. Decent performances all round, particularly from Jason Statham as Danny and Clive Owen as Spike. I thought Robert De Niro, as Hunter, was woefully underused, but certainly had a presence when he did appear on screen. Honourable mentions also go to; Dominic Purcell as Davies, Aden Young as Meier and Yvonne Strahovski as Danny’s obligatory love interest, Anne.

In the end I felt it was a film that was trying to be too clever for its own good; what with bluffs and double bluffs going on left right and centre, you really didn’t know just who the ‘good guys’ were by the end of it all. Although based on fact I got the impression that an awful lot of ‘poetic license’ was used. A film with plenty of excitement and explosions but one that in the end failed to satisfy I’m afraid. Even the attempt at bringing in a love interest for Danny didn’t come over particularly well. Over all a film that promised much but ultimately failed to deliver. There were some nicely put together fight sequences, but even these seemed to over-stay their welcome at times. Sadly, not one I’ll be watching again anytime soon.

SteelMonster’s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED.

My score: 5.4/10

IMDb Score: 6.5/10 (based on 51,028 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1448755/

MetaScore: 44/100: (Based on 29 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 25/100 (based on 119 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 43/100 (based on 27,596 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/killer_elite_2011/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
[first lines]
Title Card: The world is in chaos. The economic crisis continues as an oil crises looms. War rages everywhere. It is a time of revolution, assassination and covert operations.
Title Card: It is 1980.

Danny: I'm done with killing.
Agent: Yeah well, maybe killing ain't done with you.

McCann: He's dead. He's dead as Elvis!
Jake: You got him, man!
McCann: Stop the car. We gotta make sure Elvis has left the building.

Hunter: He wanted me here to protect you. And you look like you needed protecting.
Anne: From what?
Hunter: You.

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Trailer:

Film Review: CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE (2009)

Directors: Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor
Running time: 91 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 18

Norway release date: 16th April 2009

Watched on DVD Tuesday 23rd November 2010.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

OK, so this is a no brainer, just mindless action from start to finish. You know how it is, sometimes you just want to turn your brain off and watch a film that isn’t going to tax it too much. Well here it is… It helps if you’ve seen the first one in the series, Crank (2006), but there are plenty of flashbacks if you haven’t. Here’s a short summary before I tell you what I think (summary haters please plug yourselves into the mains for the duration of the next paragraph).

Our hero, Chev Chelios, has fallen out of a helicopter; he survives only to be picked up by a gang of Orientals. They perform surgery on him and remove his heart, replacing it with a battery powered artificial heart. He escapes and goes in search of his real heart, now in the hands of a low-life called Johnny Vang. Feeling under the weather he calls up his friend, Doc Miles, who tells him that in order to keep the artificial heart going he must keep giving his skin an electrical charge every now and then. So, with time running out, he finds various allies on the way, including old flame, Eve Lydon and the brother of a victim from the first film, Venus. To add a bit of spice to the mix, a gang of Mexicans are also after Chelios. Will he find his real heart in time of will the Mexicans be having a fiesta? Well, I guess I can’t tell you that.

This film has a real comic-book feel to it, some of the dialogue, although spoken in English ends up as subtitles. The picture, at times, looks like it’s been shot on a really low budget and some of the locations, back alleys etc. look like they just turned up and shot. Decent performances all round, although nobody was stretched, so honourable mentions go to; Jason Statham as Chev Chelios, Amy Smart as Eve Lydon, Dwight Yoakam as Doc Miles and Efren Ramirez as Venus.

It’s definitely not going to win any awards, but, for the most part, it’s pretty good fun. It did get a little tedious after about an hour, but by then I was prepared to see it through. There’s nothing particularly new here but I did find it pretty entertaining. I think you’ve got to be prepared to not think too much and you’ll enjoy the ride. So, over all, although quite mindless, it’s good fun if you like crazy action thrillers, there are a few comic moments and it does what it says on the tin… Recommended.

My score: 6.0/10

LINKS:
IMDb Page: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1121931/
Official Site: http://www.crank2.com/
Trailer: http://uk.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK/video/screenplay/vi211026457/

Film Review: THE EXPENDABLES (2010)

Co-Writer/Director: Sylvester Stallone
Running time: 103 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

UK Release date: 19th August 2010

Watched at the cinema Saturday 21st August 2010.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

As a male of the species I am not averse to the odd action movie, they’re (usually) not too taxing on the brain, there’s lots of explosions, and, if we’re lucky, there’s a pretty girl to be rescued. Well, ‘The Expendables’ ticks all those boxes and more. With cameo’s from both Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger this was one I really wasn’t gonna miss. But here’s a bit about the plot before I tell you my thoughts.

The Expendables are a group of mercenaries led by Barney Ross who are hired by a Mr Church to assassinate the dictator of the small island state of Vilena. Whilst staking out the job, Ross and his associate, Lee Christmas, meet a rebel leader called Sandra, who just happens to be the daughter of the island’s dictator, General Garza. Just to add a bit more to the mix, the General is being helped by a rogue CIA agent, James Munroe, ably assisted by his henchman, Paine. The two men leave the island in a hail of bullets leaving Sandra behind. She is captured and tortured by Munroe but The Expendables are on their way to the rescue. There is a lot more to the plot, but I don’t want to give too much away.

The action sequences were all very well done and very gory. There were plenty of explosions and stunts that, again, were all very nicely pulled off. I guess the thing that let this film down the most was the dialogue. It seemed to get a bit bogged down at times when you just want them to get on with the action. And the final third of the film has plenty of that! Decent performances though from all of the major cast, so honourable mentions go to Sylvester Stallone as Barney Ross, Jason Statham as Lee Christmas, Jet Li as Ying Yang, Dolph Lundgren as Gunner Jensen, Eric Roberts as James Munroe, Randy Couture as Toll Road, Steve Austin as Paine, David Zayas as General Garza and Giselle Itié as Sandra.

I really wanted to like this movie, but ended up slightly disappointed. Even a decent soundtrack, ending with ‘The Boys are Back in Town’ by Thin Lizzy couldn’t make up for its lack of depth. Stallone has produced some great films in the past but unfortunately this one just falls short of the mark. I feel I’m being a little generous with my score, but the action sequences were very good and I can’t forget that. So, if you like a lot of explosions, a damsel in distress and a crack mercenary team coming to the rescue, then this one is most definitely recommended. Otherwise… maybe not.

My score: 5.8/10

LINKS:
IMDb Site: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1320253/
Official Site: (USA) http://expendablesthemovie.com/
Official Site: (UK) http://www.expendablesmovie.co.uk/
Trailer: http://uk.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK/video/imdb/vi3501000217/

Film Review: TRANSPORTER 3 (2008)

Director: Olivier Megaton
Writers: Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen
Running time: 104 mins (approx)
Certificate (UK): 15

Watched on Sky+ Saturday 23rd January 2010.

PLEASE NOTE: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I must first admit to being a bit of a fan of the work of Luc Besson ever since I saw the brilliant Léon (1994). He has been involved in the writing of all three films in this series and I have seen, and enjoyed, them all. He brings a certain style to the work that just isn’t present in the work of writers working out of America. The setting is, of course, Europe, and the transporter of the title, Frank Martin, has got troubles, yet again.

Having retired from his work, Frank is living a relaxing life in the south of France. He goes fishing with his friend, Inspector Tarconi and generally enjoys his new found freedom. That is until one evening when an ex-colleague crashes through the wall of his house with a girl asleep in the back of his car. Frank calls an ambulance not knowing that if the driver strays too fear from the vehicle a bracelet on his wrist will explode, killing him instantly. Unfortunately Frank realises this too late for his friend. The explosion knocks him out and he finds himself in a strange room with a bracelet attached to his wrist. A Mr Johnson enters the room and persuades him to come out of retirement. He has to take a girl, Valentina, to a destination that is set on the GPS they have fitted to his car. Unknown to Frank, Valentina is the daughter of a Ukrainian diplomat who is being blackmailed by a large American corporation to allow the dumping of toxic waste in the Ukraine. As you can guess, Frank is not happy with the situation and is soon causing problems for his new ‘employers’.

Now, I know it’s not the greatest piece of cinema, but I did find it very entertaining. The film was very well made with the fight sequences and car chases being choreographed perfectly. I found the pacing to be excellent also; I wasn’t looking at my watch once! Very good performances from all of the leading performers, Jason Statham as Frank Martin, Natalya Rudakova as Valentina, François Berléand as Inspector Tarconi and Robert Knepper as always excellent as the bad guy Johnson.

As I said at the beginning, I have been a bit of a fan of Luc Besson for quite a while and I must say that, although it’s not his best work, I enjoyed this film very much. It doesn’t tax the ‘little grey cells’ too much, but it is entertaining and I guess that’s what it is meant to do.

My score: 6.7/10

LINKS:
IMDb Site: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1129442/
Official Site: http://transporter3film.com/
Trailer: http://uk.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK/video/imdb/vi3362652185/