Film Review: JOHN CARTER (2012)

Director: Andrew Stanton
Writers: Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews & Michael Chabon (screenplay), Edgar Rice Burroughs (story “A Princess of Mars”)
Running time: 127 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 12

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy
UK Release date: 9^th March 2012

Watched on Sky+ Saturday 2^nd March 2013.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE UNINTENTIONAL SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

The title of this film should be ‘JOHN CARTER OF MARS’ but the Disney Corporation didn’t think people would go and see it if the word ‘Mars’ was present. As it happens, it didn’t make a blind bit of difference; once it had acquired quite a bit of bad press the people stayed away in their droves. And so when it came up in the TV listings this week I decided to give it a look and see just what was so bad about it. I will give you my thoughts after this very brief summary (pay attention now, it’s complicated).

When American Civil War veteran John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) finds himself transported to Mars (or ‘Barsoom’ as the locals call it), he is taken in by Tars Tarkas (Willem Dafoe) the leader of a twelve foot tall, four armed race called the Tharks. He seems very impressed with the fact the Carter can jump extremely long distances. Now, there is a war going on between two humanoid cities, Helium and Zodanga, and the princess of Helium, Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins) has been betrothed to the leader of the Zodangan’s, Sab Than (Dominic West). Of course she does not want this union and escapes only to be captured by the Tharks. There is a mysterious entity who calls himself Matai Shang (Mark Strong), a member of a hidden race known as a Thern, who is pulling the strings in this particular conflict. All Carter wants is to get home and a Thern device holds the key. He escapes with Dejah Thoris and the daughter of Tars Tarkas, Sola (Samantha Morton) and heads for a shrine to the goddess that might hold the key to his return to Earth. But Matai Shang has other plans… I’ll leave it there.

I think much of the negative press this film got was because of the enormous amount of money it cost to make. And yes, I can see it has extremely high production values with many exciting battle/chase/fight scenes all using very high quality CGI. I admit I have never read the Edgar Rice Burroughs ‘John Carter of Mars’ books but I’m sure those that have will have got a lot more out of this film than me. It’s an exciting adventure that (I’m afraid) has a storyline that doesn’t quite hold up today. Yes, it’s visually quite stunning in places with some very exciting action sequences along the way but the plot is a tad too over-complicated, particularly for a younger audience, and the main premise that Carter can jump is, quite frankly, very weak. So, does it deserve the vitriolic reception it received? I have to say no; it is a better film than many have made out. Was it worth spending that amount of money on making it? Again, no; although it’s not as bad a film as many have said; I still find it hard to justify the amount of money spent on it. Would I watch it again? Probably not; but I’m glad I did see it the one time.

SteelMonster’s verdict: RECOMMENDED (just watch it once)

My score: 5.8/10.

IMDb Score: 6.7/10 (based on 120,483 votes when this review was written).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0401729/

MetaScore: 51/100: (Based on 42 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 51/100 (based on 216 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 61/100 (based on 102,575 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/john_carter/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
Tars Tarkas: [voiceover] Mars. So you name it and think that you know it. The red planet, no air, no life. But you do not know Mars, for its true name is Barsoom. And it is not airless, nor is it dead, but it is dying. The city of Zodanga saw to that.

Tars Tarkas: Did I not tell you he could jump!

Tars Tarkas: [to John] You are ugly, but you are beautiful. And you fight like a Thark!

Tars Tarkas: Zodanga, red flags. Helium, blue. Zodanga is winning the war. But I say let red men kill red men until only Tharks remain.
John Carter: That doesn't look like a fair fight.
Tars Tarkas: Zodanga never fights fair.

John Carter: Stand behind me, this might get dangerous.
[John fights the Zodangans. When he loses his sword, Dejah takes it and kills the remaining enemies]
John Carter: Or maybe I ought to get behind you...
Dejah Thoris: [Cleans the blood off the sword with John's clothes] You let me know when it gets dangerous.

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Official Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JohnCarterMovie
Official Site: http://disney.go.com/johncarter/
Trailer:

Film Review: KICK-ASS (2010) – 2nd Revisit

Director: Matthew Vaughn
Writers (Screenplay): Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn
Writers (Comic Book): Mark Millar, John Romita Jr.
Running time: 113 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

Genre: Comedy/Action/Thriller/Comic-book
UK Release date: 26^th March 2010

Watched on DVD Saturday 22^nd November 2012.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I saw this film when it first came out in the cinema and really enjoyed it. It then appeared on TV back in March 2011; a second viewing ensued (also enjoyable). This week (having some free time) presented an ideal opportunity to re-acquaint myself with this minor masterpiece as I now possess the DVD. It was one of the best films I saw in 2010 and Hollywood will have to work hard to beat it! If anything, I enjoyed it even more third time around (if that’s possible!). But enough of my prattling on, here’s a brief summary before I give you my thoughts (summary haters and those that don’t wish to know anything about the plot please practice swearing with Hit Girl while I write the next paragraph).

Dave Lizewski is an average teenage school kid, he says he has one superpower, he’s invisible to girls. He and his friends, Marty and Todd, are into comic books in a big way and after hanging out one evening they are mugged by a couple of scumbags. It seems this is not the first time this has happened and Dave is getting a little fed-up with it. He goes online and gets himself a costume, a green wet-suit. After a bit of self-training, he decides he’s ready and ‘Kick-Ass’ is born. He confronts the two muggers who held up him and his friends but things don’t go well and he ends up having his ass kicked. After recovering in hospital and being screwed together with metal plates he finds his nerve endings are damaged, which means he can take a bit more of a beating than before. Meanwhile, a real Superhero known as ‘Big Daddy’ is training his eleven year old daughter, ‘Hit Girl’. They have a grudge against crime boss Frank D’Amico who framed ‘Big Daddy’ some years before. D’Amico’s son, Chris, who is disillusioned with his father, decides to become a Superhero himself, called Red Mist, in order to lure Kick-Ass out of hiding. They blame Kick-Ass for some losses they have been suffering recently. Kick-Ass eventually gains notoriety when he beats up three guys picking on another guy. The fight is filmed and put up on the internet, bringing a lot of media interest in Kick-Ass. Dave is also noticed by Katie Deauxma, although she doesn’t know his secret identity, and thinks he’s gay. I won’t say too much more, but needless to say all of these various characters are destined to meet, and when they do… I’ll have to leave it there or I’ll be having a knock at the door from the ‘Spoiler Police’ (& I don’t want that).

I must first say that it is a really well made film with some excellent stunt work. I thought the music chosen for the score was really great as well. Excellent performances from all of the leading cast, Aaron Johnson as Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass, Nicolas Cage as Damon Macready/Big Daddy is excellent, Chloe Moretz as Mindy Macready/Hit-Girl (also superb), Mark Strong as Frank D’Amico, Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Chris D’Amico/Red Mist and Lyndsy Fonseca as Katie Deauxma.

There is a lot of humour in this film, both spoken and visual. It’s also very very violent, so I wouldn’t recommend it to those of a nervous disposition. I don’t usually enjoy teen comedies, but this is very original, very different and it’s very refreshing to see a film that pushes the boundaries somewhat. It’s a film that any superhero film fan should try to watch at least once a year, just to see how it should be done!

SteelMonster’s verdict: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My score: 9.3/10

IMDb Score: 7.8/10 (based on 233,147 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1250777/

MetaScore: 66/100: (Based on 38 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 76/100 (based on 242 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 83/100 ‘Liked It’ (based on 211,361 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1217700-kick_ass/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE
Dave Lizewski: Jesus, guys, doesn't it bug you? Like thousand of people wanna be Paris Hilton and nobody wants to be Spiderman.
Marty: Yeah, what's with that? She has like no tits at all.
Todd: Maybe it's the porn tape; he doesn't have a porn tape.
Marty: You guys never saw "One Night In Spiderman"?

Hit Girl: Okay you cunts... Let's see what you can do now!

Dave Lizewski: How do I get a hold of you?
Hit Girl: [sarcastically] You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it's in the shape of a giant cock.

Damon Macready: Mindy, no more homework, Babydoll. Time for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye.

Dave Lizewski: Even with my metal plates and my fucked up nerve endings, I gotta tell you, that hurt! But not half as much as the idea of leaving everything behind. Katie, my dad, Todd and Marty... and all the things I'd never do. Like learn to drive or see what me and Katie's kids would look like or find out what happened on "Lost". And if you're reassuring yourself that I'm going to make it through this since I'm talking to you now, quit being such a smart-ass! Hell dude, you never seen "Sin City"? "Sunset Boulevard"? "American Beauty"?

Dave Lizewski: With no power, comes no responsibility. Except, *that* wasn't true.

Chris D'Amico: As a great man once said... wait 'til they get a load of me.

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Official Site (for the new Kick-Ass movie out in 2013): http://www.kickass2movie.co.uk/
Trailer:

Film Review: THE WAY BACK (2010)

Director: Peter Weir
Writers: Peter Weir (screenplay), Keith R. Clarke (screenplay), Slavomir Rawicz (novel “The Long Walk: The True Story of a Trek to Freedom”)
Running time: 127 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 12

Genre: Adventure/Drama
UK Release date: 21^st January 2011

Watched on DVD Friday 31^st August 2011.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

This is one of those films I have been meaning to watch for a while now. I always like a film based on a true story, as this one is; somehow it makes the action on screen more real to me. Although a little over-long, I must say I did find this quite an inspiring tale. Here’s a very brief summary before I give you my thoughts.

When a Polish man Janusz Wieszczek is thrown into prison in 1940 on charges that are, let’s say, dubious to say the least; he is sent to Siberia. Here he is put to work in a labour camp cutting trees and preparing logs. After an incident with one of the guards, he is sent to work in the mine; effectively a death-sentence. All this time he is talking to several others about getting out. They have a rough idea where they are and have worked out that if they head South they can make it to Mongolia. On the night of a big storm a group that includes Janusz, Valka, Mr. Smith (an American), Voss, Tomasz, Kazik and Zoran make their bid for freedom. Heading south and using to storm to cover their trail they soon lose the prison guards. They lose one of their number to the cold, but press on. They are joined by a girl, Irena, who seems to have a bit of a shady past, but they take her with them anyhow. They eventually make it to Mongolia but realise that Communism has reached there as well. Their only option is to cross the Gobi Desert to Tibet and finally the Himalayas into India. Who will make it? Well, you probably guessed it, I’m not going to tell you here or the Spoiler Police (Soviet Division) will be sending me to Siberia (again).

A really well made film about an epic journey; Peter Weir is good at this kind of thing and this is a good example of his work. A nice musical score by Burkhard von Dallwitz complements the visuals with quite anthemic themes, particularly towards the end. All the performances were very good; particularly Jim Sturgess as Janusz, Colin Farrell as Valka, Ed Harris as Mr. Smith, Saoirse Ronan as Irena and Mark Strong as Khabarov. Honourable mentions must go to; Gustaf Skarsgård as Voss, Alexandru Potocean as Tomasz, Sebastian Urzendowsky as Kazik and Dragos Bucur as Zoran.

There is a bit of a spoiler at the beginning of the film where the audience is told how many make it to India which does take a little of the impact away from the film. You find yourself wondering just when various cast members might either meet their demise or decide to take another path. It’s a distraction I could have done without. The film is a bit too long and there is a lot of time spent in just getting out of Russia which, I felt, could have been better spent in crossing the Himalayas (just my personal preference). Over all though I did find it quite inspiring that such a journey could be made and I felt quite elated at the end. I may not watch it again, but I’m glad I gave it at least one viewing. Worth a look!.

SteelMonster’s verdict: RECOMMENDED.

My score: 7.7/10

IMDb Score: 7.3/10 (based on 42,826 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1023114/

MetaScore: 66/100: (Based on 33 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 75/100 (based on 122 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 70/100 ‘Liked it’ (based on 29,977 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the-way-back/

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
[first lines]
[in Polish, using English subtitles]
Interrogator: [presents pen to sign confession]
Janusz: No.
Interrogator: Bring in the witness.
Janusz's Wife, 1939: [brought in]
Interrogator: Do you know this man? His name?
Janusz's Wife, 1939: Janusz Wieszczek.
Interrogator: Witness, what's your relationship with this man?
Janusz's Wife, 1939: [crying] I am his wife.
Interrogator: Accused, do you confirm this?
Janusz's Wife, 1939: Yes.
Interrogator: Witness, what do you have to say about the accused?
Janusz's Wife, 1939: [agonizing] From his conversation, I have come to know he is critical of the Party, especially the leader of the Soviet people, Comrade Stalin.
Janusz: What have they done to you?

Mr. Smith: Kindness. That will kill you here.

Valka: Prison is okay. Debt is bad. But there are many prisons, they don't find me.
Zoran: What about America?
Valka: Oh, it's not for me, freedom. I wouldn't know what to do with it, I swear to God.

Janusz: [eating snake] Tastes like chicken.
Zoran: Yeah. A big black poisonous chicken with no legs.

[last lines]
Man: Where have you come from?
Janusz: Siberia.
Man: Siberia?
Religious man: [speaks to crowd in unknown language]
Man: And how did you come, sir?
Janusz: We walked.
Man: Walked?
[crowd noise]

LINKS:
Official Site: http://www.thewaybackthemovie.com/
Trailer:

Film Review: GREEN LANTERN (2011)

Director: Martin Campbell
Writers (screenplay): Greg Berlanti, Michael Green, Marc Guggenheim, Michael Goldenberg
Writers (screen story): Greg Berlanti, Michael Green, Marc Guggenheim
Running Time: 105 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 12A

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy
UK Release Date: 17^th June 2011

Watched on Sky+ Friday 7^th July 2012.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I must admit I knew very little about the Green Lantern before seeing this film; the TV series never made it across the pond to the UK. So I went into it having very few preconceptions, although I did know that it had been slammed by the critics. To be honest, I have to err on the side of the critics on this one; at best, it’s pretty poor despite some expensive-looking effects. I’ll tell you more after this very brief summary.

When pilot, Hal Jordan, is taken to a dying alien and given a mysterious green ring he little realises what awaits him. He has been chosen to join the ranks of an intergalactic peace-keeping force known as the Green Lanterns and there is a threat out there known as Parallax. Jordan is spurred on by fellow pilot, Carol Ferris, who has grown up with him and they have a very on-off relationship. Having been taken to the homeworld of the Green Lanterns and meeting their leader, Sinestro, Jordan doesn’t feel he has what it takes, but with Parallax approaching earth can he find the courage he needs?... Well, I guess I’ll leave it there or the Spoiler Police will have me sparring with Kilowog (again).

For a film the relied very heavily on effects I was quite disappointed they forgot to add a plot. At best it was messy and confusing and I felt quite sorry for the actors trying to cope with some truly awful dialogue. So I’ll give honourable mentions to; Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan/Green Lantern, Blake Lively as Carol Ferris, Peter Sarsgaard as Hector Hammond, Mark Strong as Sinestro, Tim Robbins as Hammond and Jay O. Sanders as Carl Ferris.

I could see that there was a decent story in there trying to get out but, for some reason, it never did. There was no mystery; how can you expect an audience to embrace a character or a story if its spoon fed to them at every turn. I could cite countless examples of films where half the fun of watching them is the things you don’t see; the pieces that are left to the imagination and that’s exactly what was missing here; imagination. Yes, it all looks fantastic, but it doesn’t make much sense and there is little else for the audience to cling onto. Over all; could have (& should have) been much better! (Forget 3D & concentrate on the plot… PLEASE!)... NOT RECOMMENDED.

My Score 4.1/10

IMDb Score: 5.9/10 (based on 96,176 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1133985/

MetaScore: 39/100: (Based on 39 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 27/100 (based on 224 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 47/100 ‘Liked It’ (based on 118,336 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/770677993/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
Hal Jordan: [to his one-night stand] Sorry, I'm late. Help yourself, there's water from the tap!
[rushes off to work]

Hal Jordan: Now, pay attention...
[puts the ring on his finger and suits up]
Thomas Kalmaku: Whoa, green!
[both laugh]
Hal Jordan: I know, right?

Hal Jordan: A talking fish...
Tomar-Re: Actually, my race is Xudarian. Our DNA does some what resemble your own ichthyological species. I am Tomar-Re, protector of Sector 2613 and home to...
Hal Jordan: 80,012 galaxies, 2.34 million sentient species. How do I know that?
Tomar-Re: The induction process. It activates the ring's higher functions, including a working knowledge base. In truth, we were curious. The process has never been attempted on a species as young as humans before. As you are the first to be chosen, I've been sent to welcome you here.
Hal Jordan: And here is?
[Tomar-Re shows him an alien metropolis]
Tomar-Re: Welcome to Oa.

[Jordan makes a construct of a saber]
Sinestro: A sword. How human...

[an unconscious Carol levitates in the air]
Hector Hammond: Beautiful, isn't she?

Kilowog: The human. Ain't never seen one before.
[sniffs Hal, snorts]
Kilowog: You smell funny.
Hal Jordan: Ugh. I smell funny?
Kilowog: Yeah! I've heard about humans; think they're the centre of the universe. You wanna be a Lantern? You gotta commit to the Corps!

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Official Site: http://greenlanternmovie.warnerbros.com/dvd/
Trailer:

Film Review: THE GUARD (2011)

Writer/Director: John Michael McDonagh
Running time: 92 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

Genre: Comedy/Crime/Thriller
UK Release date: 19^th August 2011

Watched on DVD Sunday 1^st July 2012.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

This is a recent purchase which I was quite keen to see having heard it was well received by the critics. I have to admit it was a bit of a bargain (at £5) for a film that was released over here less than a year ago. That being said, it was well worth the investment; easily surpassing the ‘six laugh test’, a darkly comic look at life in the Police (or Garda) in the west of Ireland. I will tell you more after this very brief summary.

Sergeant Gerry Boyle is a bit of a loner, he is quite set in his ways and doesn’t like anything upsetting the boat. When he’s assigned a new officer from Dublin, Garda Aidan McBride, he doesn’t take too kindly to the situation. A murder has been committed and a man from the FBI, agent Wendell Everett has come to tell them about a drug smuggling operation about to go down in their area. When McBride goes missing, they suspect the drug smugglers; Francis Sheehy-Skelfington, Liam O’Leary and Clive Cornell are responsible. Throw into the mix a couple of prostitutes, McBride’s wife, Gabriela, some bent cops and Boyle’s sick mother and you’ve got all the ingredients for an interesting film. I really don’t want to say any more or the Spoiler Police (Garda Division) will have me cleaning out the cells (again).

Well made with quite a bleak feel to things, particularly the outside scenes, but then again I guess the west of Ireland is a pretty bleak place at times. Great performances all round, particularly from Brendan Gleeson as Sergeant Gerry Boyle and Don Cheadle as FBI agent Wendell Everett. Honourable mentions go to; Liam Cunningham as Francis Sheehy-Skelfington, David Wilmot as Liam O’Leary, Mark Strong as Clive Cornell and Katarina Cas as Gabriela McBride.

I should warn potential viewers that there is an awful lot of swearing in this film, a few may be offended. There is much to admire here, the extremely dark humour of Boyle is countered by the semi-intellectual banter between the smugglers quite brilliantly. The counterpoint between Boyle and FBI agent Everett also works very well. I found it very enjoyable with many subtle comic moments that are not spoon-fed to the audience as in many other films I could name. Over all, I found it very entertaining and was only let down (IMO) by a scene referencing the IRA that I (for one) could have lived without. Even so… RECOMMENDED.

My score: 7.5/10

IMDb Score: 7.3/10 (based on 27,277 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1540133/

MetaScore: 78/100: (Based on 29 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 95/100 (based on 121 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 81/100 ‘Liked it’ (based on 21,341 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_guard_2011/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I'm Irish. Racism is part of my culture.

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, these men are armed and dangerous, and you being an FBI agent you're more used to shooting at unarmed women and children...
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh, fuck you, Sergeant!

Garda Aidan McBride: I'm on it sarge.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: "I'm on it Sarge." He thinks he's in fuckin' Detroit.

Detective: Like a donkey fucking a hippopotamus, it's party time.

FBI agent Wendell Everett: You know, I can't tell if you're really motherfuckin' dumb, or really motherfuckin' smart.

FBI agent Wendell Everett: You have anybody you want me to call?
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Nah, I don't have anybody. Just pin a medal on my body like those boys coming home from Iraq.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Fuck you again Sergeant.

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Official Site: http://www.sonyclassics.com/theguard/
Official Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheGuardFilm
Trailer:

Film Review: THE EAGLE (2011)

Director: Kevin Macdonald
Writers: Jeremy Brock (Screenplay), Rosemary Sutcliff (Novel)
Running time: 110 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 12

Genre: Adventure/Drama
UK Release date: 25^th March 2011

Watched on Sky+ Saturday 25^th February 2012.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I remember the book on which this film is based from Junior School. It is called ‘The Eagle of the Ninth’ by Rosemary Sutcliff; I mention this because I never actually read it. I remember seeing it on the school library shelf but never seemed to have the time to sit down with it. Well, as time passes (and if you wait long enough), I knew that eventually somebody would make a film of it. Well, enough time passed and that somebody, Kevin Macdonald, finally did! I will tell you what I thought about it after this very brief summary.

The Ninth Legion, lead by the father of Marcus Aquila, had disappeared somewhere north of where Hadrian’s Wall was subsequently built about ten years before the events in this film took place. Hadrian’s Wall marked the northern edge of the Roman Empire in Britain. Marcus Aquila followed his fathers’ footsteps into the Roman army and, having been injured in action was relieved of his post. His uncle took him in while he recovered from his injuries and it is here that he forms the idea of recovering the Eagle of the Ninth Legion and restoring his family honour. A slave, Esca, a Briton, is to accompany him and it is Esca who will teach Marcus Aquila what honour means on this long and dangerous journey. I will not say and more or the Spoiler Police (Roman Division) will be selling me off to a Lanista (again)… A Lanista (hope I spelled that right!) is a manager of gladiators by the way.

Although it is well shot I did find the landscape and most of the settings did look quite depressing. Maybe that’s deliberate to make it more menacing, but if that was the case it didn’t really work (for me). There were some nicely choreographed fights scenes though. All the performances were pretty good although nobody really shone; so honourable mentions go to: Channing Tatum as Marcus Aquila, Jamie Bell as Esca, Donald Sutherland as Uncle Aquila, Mark Strong as Guern and Tahar Rahim as Seal Prince.

I saw a version of this that was cut for TV, giving it a 12, rather than a 12A (as the theatrical release) certificate. Four minutes were cut and, I’m guessing, these were the more gruesome scenes. The trouble is this made the film so tame that, quite frankly, I got bored while watching it. Maybe I’ve become hardened to it over the years, but I found this was toned down a little too far for my liking. Don’t get me wrong, I would have no complaint if the narrative kept my interest, but even that kind of lost the plot (excuse the pun) in a few places. I guess the bond between Marcus and Esca was never sealed to any degree and so I found it all a little unconvincing in the end. It’s a shame because I really wanted to like this film, but I felt sadly let down by it… NOT recommended.

My score: 5.4/10.

IMDb Score: 6.2/10 (based on 23,201 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1034389/

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 38/100 (based on 143 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 43/100 (based on 37,533 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the-eagle-of-the-ninth/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
[first lines]
Marcus Aquila: Marcus Flavius Aquila, Fourth Cohort of Gaul, Second Legion, come to relieve the command.
Lutorius: Lutorius Drusillus Salinator, acting senior officer.
Marcus Aquila: Where's the garrison commander?
Lutorius: He left this morning, sir. Couldn't wait to get away.

[about Esca]
Marcus Aquila: He's not a slave. And he knows more about honour and freedom than you'll ever know.

[last lines]
Esca: So what now?
Marcus Aquila: You decide.

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Official Site: http://focusfeatures.com/the_eagle
Trailer:

Film Review: KICK-ASS (2010) - Revisited

Director: Matthew Vaughn
Running time: 113 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

Genre: Comedy/Action/Thriller/Comic-book
UK Release date: 26th March 2010

Watched on Sky+ Saturday 26th March 2011.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I saw this film when it first came out in the cinema and really enjoyed it. This week it came to our TV screens in a slightly cut version (about 4 minutes shorter than the theatrical release) but that didn’t spoil my enjoyment of it. It was one of the best films I saw last year and the filmmakers will have to work hard to beat it again this year! If anything, I enjoyed it more second time around (if that’s possible!). But enough of my prattling on, here’s a short summary before I give you my thoughts (summary haters and those that don’t wish to know anything about the plot please practice swearing with Hit Girl while I write the next paragraph).

Dave Lizewski is an average teenage school kid, he says he has one superpower, he’s invisible to girls. He and his friends, Marty and Todd, are into comic books and after hanging out one evening they are mugged by a couple of scumbags. It seems this is not the first time this has happened and Dave is getting a little fed-up with it. He goes online and gets himself a costume, a green wet-suit. After a bit of self-training, he decides he’s ready and ‘Kick-Ass’ is born. He decides to confront the two muggers who held up him and his friends but things don’t go well and he ends up having his ass kicked. After recovering in hospital and being screwed together with metal plates he finds his nerve endings are a bit damaged, which means he can take a bit more of a beating than before. Meanwhile, a real Superhero known as ‘Big Daddy’ is training his eleven year old daughter, ‘Hit Girl’. They have a grudge against crime boss Frank D’Amico who framed ‘Big Daddy’ some years before. D’Amico’s son, Chris is disillusioned with his father and decides to become a Superhero himself, called Red Mist in order to lure Kick-Ass out of hiding. They blame Kick-Ass for some losses they have been suffering recently. Kick-Ass eventually gains notoriety when he beats up three guys picking on another guy. The fight is filmed and put up on the internet, bringing a lot of media interest in Kick-Ass. Dave is also noticed by Katie Deauxma, although she doesn’t know his secret identity, and thinks he’s gay. I won’t say too much more, but needless to say all of these various characters are destined to meet, and when they do… I’ll have to leave it there or I’ll be having a knock at the door from the ‘Spoiler Police’ (& I don’t want that).

I must first say that it is a really well made film with some excellent stunt work. I thought the music chosen for the score was really great as well. Excellent performances from all of the leading cast, Aaron Johnson as Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass, Nicolas Cage as Damon Macready/Big Daddy, Chloe Moretz as Mindy Macready/Hit-Girl, Mark Strong as Frank D’Amico, Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Chris D’Amico/Red Mist and Lyndsy Fonseca as Katie Deauxma.

There is a lot of humour in this film, both spoken and visual. It’s also very very violent, so I wouldn’t recommend it to those of a nervous disposition. I don’t usually enjoy teen comedies, but this is very original, very different and it’s very refreshing to see a film that pushes the boundaries somewhat. It’s a film that any superhero film fan should try to watch at least once a year and I recommend it very highly!

My score: 9.2/10

LINKS:
(RT = Rotten Tomatoes)
IMDb Page: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1250777/
RT Page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1217700-kick_ass/
Official Site: http://www.kickass-themovie.com/
Trailer: http://uk.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1572603673/