Film Review: JONAH HEX (2010)

Director: Jimmy Hayward
Running time: 81 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

Genre: Action/Drama/Fantasy
UK Release date: 3^rd September 2010

Watched on Sky+ Saturday 27^th August 2011.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I was quite excited when I first heard about this film, the premise looked really great. It’s funny how a great looking idea can be turned into something really terrible though. I know I occasionally have to look at a bad film if just to remind me how good the great ones are, but this was truly awful. I will tell you more after this brief summary.

Jonah Hex is a survivor of the American Civil War, brutally scarred by Quentin Turnbull, the man who murdered his wife and son as he looked on helpless. After this, Hex was taken in by the Crow Indians who healed him, well almost, he found he could speak to the dead. He left and became a bounty hunter, until the day he gets word from the government that Turnbull is alive. It’s now all about revenge for Hex, who is out for blood and nobody is going to stop him. I’ll leave it there, there is more but the Spoiler Police will have me fired from a cannon if I say anything else.

As I said at the beginning, the premise of this film was quite appealing, the execution, however, was quite appalling. As far as the performances go, well, everyone was professional but the material they had to work with was woeful. So, honourable mentions go to; Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex, John Malkovich, who I can’t believe took the part of Quentin Turnbull, Megan Fox, who played, well, Megan Fox as Lilah and finally, Michael Fassbender as Burke. If I was any of these performers I would be having very serious words with my agent.

It has the distinction of attaining the lowest score of any film I’ve watched so far this year (162 at this point in time). The dialogue was turgid and didn’t really go anywhere and most of the action happens at night so it’s very hard to follow. On the plus side (rare, I know, for this one), I thought the make up effect for Hex’s scar was very well done. I do try to watch all films with an open mind, but this was just awful… NOT recommended.

My Score: 3.2/10.

IMDb Score: 4.6/10 (based on 17,723 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1075747/

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 12/100 (based on 142 reviews counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/jonah_hex/

FAVOURITE QUOTE:
Jonah Hex: Keep him fed and watered. Don’t you tie him up. If I don’t come back for a spell, he’ll know it. He’ll head out on his own way.
Boy: He got a name?
Jonah Hex: Yeah. Horse.
[to the dog]
Jonah Hex: You. Yeah, I... I don’t what to say to you.

LINKS:
Official Site: http://jonah-hex.warnerbros.com/dvd/
Trailer:

Film Review: JENNIFER’S BODY (2009)

Director: Karyn Kusama
Writer: Diablo Cody
Running time: 99 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

UK release date: 4th November 2009

Watched on Sky+ Saturday 6th November 2010.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

If it wasn’t for the fact that this was written by Diablo Cody, writer of the rather excellent Juno (2007), I would probably have passed. I’m not a great fan of horror movies, unless they’re very very good, and so a teen horror flick is usually straight on the reject pile. But with Diablo Cody penning the words, how bad could it be? Well I’ll tell you after a short summary (as usual, summary haters please omit the next paragraph).

Jennifer Check and Needy Lesnicky have been friends since kindergarten and, although Jennifer is a cheerleader and Needy is a bit of a nerd, their friendship survived into high school. Needy has a steady boyfriend, Chip Dove, who is just an average teenager. Jennifer decides to take Needy to see a band she had seen on the internet called Low Shoulder. During the show a fire breaks out and several people are killed. Jennifer ends up going with the band in their van. Needy makes it home where she is met by Jennifer covered in blood. The next day Jennifer turns up at school behaving normal. This perplexes Needy and when, over the following weeks, several boys are found brutally murdered, she begins to put two and two together. Little does she know, Chip is becoming a target and time is running out.

Although the dialogue is just as snappy and cool as in Juno, this movie is sadly flawed. I just didn’t buy into the characters and found it all a little bit too ludicrous. A very decent performance though from Amanda Seyfried as Needy and honourable mentions go to Megan Fox as Jennifer, Johnny Simmons as Chip and Adam Brody as Nikolai Wolf.

I must say there is a really good score to this movie, some great indie and rock tracks, however, a great score does not a great movie make. There were one or two good moments in the film, but again, as a whole it just didn’t work for me. I guess if you’re a die hard fan of Megan Fox, then by all means go and see it, there are plenty of scenes with her wearing very little. Otherwise, not recommended.

My score: 5.2/10

LINKS:
IMDb Page: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1131734/
Trailer: http://uk.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK/video/imdb/vi4062052889/

Film Review: TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (2009)

Director: Michael Bay
Running time: 146 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 12A

UK release date: 19th June 2009

Watched on Sky+ Sunday 22nd August 2010.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I have to admit I saw this at the cinema when it came out. It was the first film I had seen on the big screen for a long time and I’ll admit to having been slightly (very much) blown away by it at the time. Now, just over a year later I have given it a second viewing and, having seen a lot more films in between, I have somewhat changed my opinion. Man can do that right? Change their minds? Just thought I’d check.

Optimus Prime and the Autobots, with some new members, are seeking out Decepticon agents around the Earth. They are helped by an international military force called NEST. Sam Witwicky has found a shard of the ‘AllSpark’, a device which was destroyed in the first Transformers movie, which he accidentally touches. He is preparing to go to college, leaving his girlfriend Mikaela Barnes and Bumblebee, his Autobot guardian, behind. Having arrived at college, he finds himself blacking out and seeing mysterious symbols. A worried Mikaela flies out to join him and Bumblebee also makes his way there to protect his ward. The Decepticons know what these symbols mean and they want Sam… I think that’s enough about the plot.

First of all, the CGI work on this film is excellent, some really cool effects and some excellent stunt work combine to make it visually quite stunning. Unfortunately I found I didn’t warm to any of the characters, they had no depth and so it ended up being quite a hollow experience. So with no stand-out performances, honourable mentions go to Shia LaBeouf as Sam and Megan Fox as Mikaela; Josh Duhamel returned as Captain Lennox and John Turturro also returned as Agent Simmons / Jetfire. Kevin Dunn and Julie White also return as Sam’s parents Ron and Judy Witwicky. The Transformers were voiced by Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime), Hugo Weaving (Megatron) and Tony Todd (The Fallen).

Over all a visually exciting and even, at times, an entertaining film that unfortunately has little depth. The running time is far too long, which also doesn’t help. I guess if you’re a fourteen year old boy then you’ll enjoy this, but ultimately you’ll only remember the funny bit on the pyramid and some of the robot fight scenes. So, not really recommended if you’re a serious movie lover, but if you’re young at heart and want to switch your brain off for a while, go for it!


My score: 5.4/10

LINKS:
IMDb Site: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1055369/
Official Site: http://www.transformersmovie.com/
Trailer: http://uk.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK/video/imdb/vi2982019609/