Film Review: TED (2012)

Director: Seth MacFarlane
Writers: Seth MacFarlane (story/screenplay), Alec Sulkin & Wellesley Wild (screenplay)
Running time: 106 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

Genre: Comedy/Fantasy
UK Release date: 1^st August 2012

Watched on Sky+ Monday 6^th May 2013.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE UNINTENTIONAL SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I can’t say I’m the greatest fan of Seth MacFarlane’s TV show ‘Family Guy’; it has some really great comic moments and then it usually pisses me off by being extremely stupid. About four episodes is usually my limit. So how come I came to watch ‘Ted’ then? Well I guess I hoped Seth might just put in all the great comic bits I like and leave out all the stupid crap. What did we get? Well I’ll tell you after this very brief summary.

When a lonely eight year old, John Bennet, makes a wish that his new teddy bear was real, to everyone’s surprise it comes true! After some initial notoriety Ted eventually falls out of the limelight but still stays with John. Flash forward and John (Mark Wahlberg) is now 35 and living with his girlfriend of four years, Lori Collins (Mila Kunis). Of course Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) is still on the scene and he and John like to hang out, smoke pot and watch movies (particularly ‘Flash Gordon’). This is not going down too well with Lori; she wants their relationship to grow and it can’t as long as Ted is on the scene. She eventually persuades John to get Ted to get a job move out into an apartment of his own. He does this but John still goes to see him every day. As time passes it all gets too much for Lori and she gives John an ultimatum; it’s either Ted or her! But Ted is having a party and Sam J. Jones (of ‘Flash Gordon’ fame) is there! Can John resist!? Add to this a creepy guy, Donny (Giovanni Ribisi), and his son who want to buy Ted and that’s about all I can tell you.

So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is ‘Brian’ for Family Guy and the next he turns into ‘Peter Griffin’ from the same show (despite his denials). I thought both Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis did a good job; both of their characters were quite believable. Ultimately though I did find it lacked the one thing it so desperately needed; heart. Still, I’m sure the many devotees of ‘Family Guy’ will love this one but for me, sadly, it’s a bit of a dud.

SteelMonster’s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED (…unless you’re a really big fan of Family Guy, in which case why haven’t you seen it yet!)

My score: 5.3/10.

IMDb Score: 7.1/10 (based on 232,626 votes when this review was written).
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1637725/

MetaScore: 62/100: (Based on 37 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 69/100 (based on 197 reviews counted at the time of going to press).

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 80/100 (based on 172,931 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/ted_2012/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE
[thunder is heard outside]
Lori: I don't - I don't understand. I really don't. You're 35 years old and you're still scared of a little thunder?
John: I am not!
[Ted comes running into the bed]
Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: Fucking right.
Ted: Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder song.
John: Alright.
John, Ted: [singing] When you hear the sound of thunder, / Don't you get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / "Fuck you, thunder! / You can suck my dick! / You can't get me thunder / 'Cause you're just God's farts!"
[blow raspberries]

Ted: [dressed in a suit and tie] I look stupid.
John: No, you don't, you look dapper.
Ted: John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.

Frank: You think you got what it takes?
Ted: I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Frank: Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before.
Ted: That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box.
Frank: You're hired.
Ted: Shit.

John: [calling 911] This guy took my teddy bear!
[pause]
John: Hello? Hello?

Lori: Can I give you a ride home?
John: No thanks, I'll walk. I might get raped but if I do I'll know it's my fault because of what I'm wearing.

Sam J. Jones: Death to Ming!

John: [Imitating Ted] Hey Johnny, I just had a great idea. Let's go get drunk and puke on cars on the overpass.
Ted: Oh, come on! I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin!

LINKS:
(Note: All were working at the time of going to press)
Official Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tedisreal
Official Twitter: https://twitter.com/whattedsaid
Official Site: http://www.tedisreal.com/
Trailer:

Film Review: BLACK SWAN (2010) - REVISITED

Director: Darren Aronofsky
Writers: Mark Heyman (Screenplay), Andres Heinz (Screenplay/Story) & John J. McLaughlin (Screenplay)
Running time: 108 mins (approx)

Certification (UK): 15
UK Release date: 21^st January 2011

Watched at the cinema Monday 19^th December 2011.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I first saw this film at the cinema back in January and I was so impressed with it I decided to give it another viewing when it appeared in the TV schedules recently. I’m really glad I did as I enjoyed it even more second time around! I’ll give you my (revised) of my thoughts after this brief summary.

Young ballerina Nina Sayers has been chosen to play the lead in Swan Lake. The production’s director, Thomas Leroy, has chosen her because she can play the white Swan perfectly, but he wants her to show more passion when she dances the part of the Black Swan. As she strives to achieve this level of performance we witness quite a dramatic change in her that totally alters her personality. She also has to contend with a rival dancer, Lily, who Thomas has put as her alternate (I guess the equivalent of an understudy in a play). Add to this the decline of Beth Macintyre, an experienced dancer that Nina admired and the attentions of her overbearing mother, Erica, and you can see she has a lot to contend with. I’ll leave my brief summary there or the Spoiler Police will be after me with a crossbow again.

There is much to admire in this film, Darren Aronofsky certainly knows how to get a performance out of his cast. He also knows how to tell a story, I couldn’t fault the filmmaking; it’s great to look at, all topped off with a great performance from Natalie Portman as Nina Sayers. Also worthy of note are; Mila Kunis as Lily, Vincent Cassel as Thomas Leroy, Barbara Hershey as Erica Sayers and Winona Ryder as Beth Macintyre.

I very much like the use of music through this film; the iconic themes from Swan Lake are throughout and only add to the enjoyment of the piece. I love the way the line is blurred between reality and the dark place Nina is trying to find inside herself. Aronofsky has a very interesting filming style; you are in there with the dancers as they perform and that makes it even more exciting… particularly at the end! In fact, you literally ‘follow’ the character, Nina, all the way through the film. It’s a brilliant film with some great performances; well worth a second (or even first) look if you get the chance and one I highly recommend.

My score: 8.7/10

IMDb Score: 8.3/10 (based on 192,436 votes at the time of going to press).
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0947798/

Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: 87/100 (based on 261 reviews counted at the time of going to press).
Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 86/100 (based on 116,116 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/black_swan_2010/

If you’re crazy enough… You can find me on Facebook at:
http://facebook.com/andy.steel3

FAVOURITE QUOTES:
[first lines]
Nina Sayers: I had the craziest dream last night. I was dancing the White Swan.

Nina: I just want to be perfect.

Thomas Leroy: The only person standing in your way is you.

Thomas Leroy: I got a little homework assignment for you. Go home and touch yourself. Live a little.

Lily: How about I dance the Black Swan for you?

[last lines]
Nina Sayers: I was perfect...

LINKS:
Official Site: http://www.foxsearchlight.com/blackswan/
Trailer:

Film Review: DATE NIGHT (2010)

Director: Shawn Levy
Running Time: 85 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

Genre: Comedy/Crime/Romance
UK Release Date: 21st April 2010

Watched on Sky+ Sunday 17th April 2010.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

To be honest, I wasn’t going to watch this one as I’m not really a fan of comedies. They are generally stupid and labour the point they are trying to make so much that I can find them quite tedious. Fortunately this one wasn’t too bad, yes, there are parts you can see coming from about 50 miles away, but it’s saved by the performances of the two main characters. I’ll tell you more about that after this brief summary (summary haters, and those that don’t wish to know about the plot, please hide the evidence while I write the next paragraph).

Phil and Claire Foster are an average New Jersey couple and they are stuck in a bit of a rut. They have two kids, boring jobs and everything seems to be routine. Even date night has become a routine; they go to the same restaurant, eat the same food, talk about the same people, it’s all getting a bit predictable. One day they hear that their friends, another couple in a similar situation are about to separate. Desperate to not end up in the same situation, they decide to go into Manhattan to a posh restaurant for a nice meal. They arrive late and the place is fully booked, but they wait at the bar hoping for a cancellation. A waitress is looking for the Tripplehorn’s and can’t find them and so Phil and Claire claim to be them, just so they can get their dream date night. This proves to be a big mistake, the next thing they know two guys take them to the alley  and ask them for a stolen flash drive. When they pull out guns the couple believe it’s serious. This is where the fun begins and this is where I’ll leave my summary. I don’t want the Spoiler Police after my flash drive.

Pretty decent performances all round, particularly from Steve Carell as Phil Foster and Tina Fey as Claire Foster. In the moments where they are just being a regular couple they are really good. The comedy stuff… well, I’ll leave that up to you. Mark Wahlberg does a nice job of acting without a shirt as Holbrooke Grant and Taraji P. Henson was also pretty good (with shirt) as Detective Arroyo. Honourable mentions go to; William Fichtner as DA Frank Crenshaw, Kristen Wiig as Haley Sullivan, Mark Ruffalo as Brad Sullivan, James Franco as Taste, Mila Kunis as Whippit and, last but not least, a great little cameo from Ray Liotta (uncredited) as mob boss Joe Miletto.

It’s a pretty well made film with some nice stunt work and a pretty good soundtrack. Again, The Ramones get an airing of their song ‘Blitzkrieg Bop’. A pretty enjoyable film that, although very predictable in places, I wasn’t too offended by. It won’t feature very high on my re-watch list, but it was OK… Recommended, if only for the rapport between Carell and Fey when they’re just being a couple.

My Score: 5.6/10

LINKS:
(RT = Rotten Tomatoes)
IMDb Page: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1279935/
RT Page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/date_night/
Trailer:

Film Review: BLACK SWAN (2010)

Director: Darren Aronofsky
Running time: 108 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

UK Release date: 21st January 2011

Watched at the cinema Friday 28th November 2010.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

Having heard many good things about this film I thought it was about time I checked it out. At first I wasn’t too sure, but as the drama unfolded, I really got into the story and found myself transfixed by the end. But more of my thoughts later, here’s a brief summary first (summary haters please wait in the wings while I write the next paragraph).

Young ballerina Nina Sayers has been chosen to play the lead in Swan Lake. The production’s director, Thomas Leroy, has chosen her because she can play the white Swan perfectly, but he wants her to show more passion when she dances the part of the Black Swan. As she strives to achieve this level of performance we witness quite a dramatic change in her that totally alters her personality. She also has to contend with a rival dancer, Lily, who Thomas has put as her alternate (I guess the equivalent of an understudy in a play). Add to this the decline of Beth Macintyre, an experienced dancer that Nina admired and the attentions of her overbearing mother, Erica, and you can see she has a lot to contend with. Not wishing to give too much away, I’ll leave my brief summary there.

There is much to admire in this film, Darren Aronofsky certainly knows how to get a performance out of his cast. He also knows how to tell a story, I couldn’t fault the filmmaking; it’s great to look at, all topped off with a great performance from Natalie Portman as Nina Sayers. Also worthy of note are; Mila Kunis as Lily, Vincent Cassel as Thomas Leroy, Barbara Hershey as Erica Sayers and Winona Ryder as Beth Macintyre.

I very much like the use of music through this film; the themes from Swan Lake are throughout and only add to the enjoyment of the piece. I love the way the line is blurred between reality and the dark place Nina is trying to find inside herself. All this is brilliantly done, but I have just one problem, I find it very hard to find any likable characters in this film. Although I found myself rooting for Nina at the end, I never really found her character particularly likable. Having said that, it’s still a brilliant film with some great performances and one I highly recommend.

My score: 8.3/10

LINKS:
(RT = Rotten Tomatoes)
IMDb Page: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0947798/
RT Page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/black_swan_2010/
Official Site: http://www.foxsearchlight.com/blackswan/
Trailer: http://uk.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK/video/imdb/vi3985807385/

Film Review: THE BOOK OF ELI (2010)

Directors: Albert Hughes & Allen Hughes
Running time: 107 mins (approx)
Certification (UK): 15

UK release date: 15th January 2010

Watched on Sky+ Saturday 15th January 2011.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

I saw this when it came out in the cinema and quite liked it. Now it has come round on TV I thought it might be worth a second viewing. This film is about the quest of one man to get a book to the place it’s supposed to be, to use his words. Now, I’m not a religious man but I can see the value this book might have in a world torn apart by war. It is a post-apocalyptic world, thirty years after it was destroyed. Those that were not killed scratch a living out of what’s left, and many have turned to cannibalism. Many were blinded by the flashes in the sky but survived. As stated in the film, after the war people destroyed the bible blaming it for what happened, but Eli has the last remaining copy. Now you know the set-up, here’s a brief summary before I give you my thoughts (summary haters please don’t touch Eli… not if you want to keep your hands that is… and wait here while I write the next paragraph).

Always moving west, Eli is a loner on the road. Like everyone out there he knows it’s a very dangerous place. He kills animals for food and gets clean water where he can. When set upon by hijackers but Eli is a ferocious fighter and thus far has come out on top. One day he wanders into a small town run by Carnegie, a determined man who has been sending out men in search of a particular book, the very one Eli has in his possession. Carnegie has a mother and daughter, Claudia and Solara in his entourage, Claudia was blind from birth, but Solara is sighted. In trying to persuade Eli to stay, as he can see the value of a man who can fight like him, he sends Solara to his room and she discovers the book. Carnegie finds out about the book and sends his henchman, Redridge to get it but Eli has already gone. Eli starts heading west again only to find Solara following him. Redridge wants Solara and makes a deal with Carnegie to get the book in exchange for her. And now the chase is on, will Eli and Solara escape or will they be caught? I think that’s enough for now.

This film was shot in a similar way to 300 (2006) with a kind of washed out comic book feel to it and, for me, it looked a bit too artificial in places. A lot of the landscapes were CGI which didn’t come over too well on TV. Great performances from all of the leading cast, Denzel Washington as Eli, Gary Oldman as Carnegie, Mila Kunis as Solara, Ray Stevenson as Redridge and Jennifer Beals as Claudia. Honourable mentions also go to Frances de la Tour and Michael Gambon as Martha and George, a mad old couple who Eli and Solara find on their travels.

Although it’s a fairly straightforward story I found it a very entertaining and compelling film to watch, the 107 minutes went by pretty quickly, which is always a good sign. It did get a bit bogged down in the middle, but redeemed itself with a totally unexpected twist at the end. Don’t worry; I’m not going give that away here. Also a haunting soundtrack backs up the visuals to great effect. Over all, although it’s not been well received everywhere and although not perfect, it’s a good effort… Recommended.

My score: 7.3/10

LINKS:
IMDb Site: http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1037705/
Official Site: http://www.sonypictures.net/movies/bookofeli/
Trailer: http://uk.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK/video/imdb/vi862650905/