Release date: Unknown (TV Movie)
Watched on Sky+ Friday 29th June 2012.
PLEASE NOTE: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.
Every now and then you have to force yourself to watch a bad movie so you can appreciate the good ones better. I’m not sure exactly how this one ended up on my ‘to see’ list, but it was there and consequently was duly recorded when it aired on TV recently. Well it’s certainly not going to win any awards that’s for sure, but then again I can’t see any of the other Sci-Fi (or SyFy for those that can’t spell) Channel TV movies doing that any time soon either. Here’s a very brief summary before I give you my thoughts.
When scientist Dr. Frank Abernathy accidently activates an alien homing beacon frozen in ice next to a long dead mammoth, he triggers events that will change his life forever. The aliens send a probe that brings the mammoth to life and it runs amok in the town. His father and daughter get caught up in all the mayhem, along with the local sheriff and a couple of ‘Men in Black’, government agents (one of which is a woman). Of course a plan is devised to deal with the beast, but can they pull it off before time runs out and the government deals with the situation in the only way they know how… Well I guess that about sums it up, there are one or two comic moments along the way, but nothing you haven’t seen before (trust me on this).
Having read the few lines we get on the on-screen TV guide, I was sure this would not be great. Poorly put together with some really average CGI, it was only (slightly) saved (for me) by the performance of Tom Skerritt as Simon Abernathy (Frank’s father), he held the thing together. Even the presence of Summer Glau as Frank’s daughter, Jack (silly name for a girl, I know) didn’t make it any better. I’ll give honourable mentions to; Vincent Ventresca as Dr. Frank Abernathy, Cole Williams as Squirrelly, Charles Carroll as Sheriff Marion Morrison (that’s John Wayne’s real name for those that don’t know), Leila Arcieri as Agent Powers and Marcus Lyle Brown as Agent Whitaker.
For a script that was meant to be playing for laughs, I found very little to laugh about. To say the jokes were (for the most part) pretty lame would be putting it mildly. The plot was all over the place, there were holes in it you could drive a truck through… and at one point I think they did! It did try to rally at one point and almost grabbed my attention, but then lapsed back into banality yet again… Sadly. NOT RECOMMENDED, but the good films will look all the better for seeing it.
My score: 3.8/10
IMDb Score: 3.8/10 (based on 1,533 votes at the time of going to press).
MetaScore: No Data: (Based on 0 critic reviews provided by Metacritic.com at the time of going to press).
Rotten Tomatoes ‘Tomatometer’ Score: No Score Yet… (based on 1 reviews counted at the time of going to press).
Rotten Tomatoes ‘Audience’ Score: 18/100 ‘Liked It’ (based on 838 user ratings counted at the time of going to press).
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Dr. Frank Abernathy: Do either of you have kids? Let me enlighten you. If you have a boy you only have to worry about one... wiener. You have a girl, you worry, oh you do, about every wiener in the hot dog cart, okay?
Dr. Frank Abernathy: Can I be frank with you?
Agent Powers: You are, Frank.
Dr. Frank Abernathy: I know!
Dr. Frank Abernathy, Agent Powers: [after his father, Simon mumbles something incoherent] 'What?'
Agent Powers: He said 'Don't trust these government stooges,' in pig Latin. Does he suffer from dementia?
Dr. Frank Abernathy: I wish!
Simon Abernathy: Don't get her pregnant on the first date son!
Dr. Frank Abernathy: Ok. See you later, dad.